Be vulnerable… Exist in photos!

While on our final stretch of vacation, we had family portraits taken by Nikita, one of my son’s friends from the Vancouver Film School who generously agreed to take time away from his family, to photograph us. Wow, was it difficult to be in front of the camera for a change, for so many reasons! One of them being my weight gain this past year! Last year my doctor put me on anti-depressants because I was having some difficulty navigating through some pretty tough family stuff over the past couple of years. I won’t go into those details but needless to say, anti-depressants aren’t known to make you lose weight, but to gain it, rapidly. Though I am no longer taking them, I have yet to shed the weight which makes me that much more uncomfortable in front of a camera. Oh, Ashley Graham, how I wish to be like you! (If you don’t know who that is, Google her 🙂 )
However, not knowing when the 4 of us would be together again, I had to just suck it up and go for it. I had to put my money where my mouth is and do what I tell clients to do. EXIST IN PHOTOS! It doesn’t matter what I look like at the moment, whether overweight or looking tired, or getting older…, these photos will be cherished by those who love me. I will never be perfect, it’s just not possible. So what if I’m a little chunkier than I’d like to be right now; this is my family and we love each other unconditionally. They won’t care in 10 years that their mom carried extra pounds, they will just remember being together on that beach in Kitsilano, British Columbia during sunset.  And they certainly won’t care what I looked like in a photo once I’ve gone to Heaven.  They will just be grateful that they have a photo of their mom to show their families.  And that is priceless.
So to my potential clients: I know how awkward you feel! It’s not easy being vulnerable and looking natural in front of a camera when everything about it screams unnatural. I get it, trust me! But because I know EXACTLY how you feel , it is my mission to make you relax. I promise you will have fun and possibly even forget that the camera is there.  
P.S. Although this is not Nik’s usual style of photography, he indulged me in my vision for my family shoot. I love what he captured for us! Check him out on Instagram, he’s quite talented!

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